How to keep on steppin with a broken heart...

There is something refreshing about going through a break - up. One being it gives you a little reality check that you need to get in touch with you inner self again, and that, is good for all of us from time to time. This time of heart ache is a time to reconnect with friends that got lost in the shuffle, to show yourself that you are stronger than you think, and to learn how to love just yourself again. It's a time when we feel sad, angry, and happy, all within a short time of each other. A time when we search for bliss in other things and people. It's a good reminder that at the end of the day, for most of us, YOU are all you have.

Don't get me wrong, there are times (esp. now that 30 is quickly creeping up on me)when watching a movie at home is better with someone there, and when it's nice to roll over in the morning and find company (however one night stands can be good for this too :) ), to be able to call your best/friend lover and tell them everything and probably some of the stupidest things, and knowing that you have someone to hold your hand as you both step through the minutes of future together.

I've never been able to walk away from someone or lose someone that I have truely cared for and had feelings of hate. No matter how things end, I always hold people that i have loved/love in my heart for different reasons. I strongly believe that different people come into your life for a reason and that sometimes we are given pain to show us something that we were missing.

STEPS TO GETTING OVER A BREAK UP:
VODKA
RETAIL THERAPY
VODKA
GOOD LAUGHS WITH BEAVER FRIENDS
VOKDA

5 Steps To.....

1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Expect Less

F.A.M.I.L.Y

What is family to you??? Is it that person that who created your flesh and blood? The person who stands next to you "whithin good times AND in bad?" That person that doesn't judge you, and who will pick you up when you're an emotional mess and a complete fuck up???

To me, family is like have a permanent soul mate. The person(s) who understand you when no words are being spoke, who learn to understand your facial expressions, and who feel your pain and happiness at all times. Those are the person(s) who do not judge and who understand that family is thicker than blood. We are those people who will be there for you at the end, to help you up, and help "you "burry that body that's in the back of trunk." They are forgiving, honest, harsh, and mean at times. But at the end of the day, everyones intentions are pure, honest, and loving.

Someone tell me, teach me, how to break the emotional the bond with people who are the key and who are a huge part of your every being...yet they've forgotten love, honestly, and loyelty. Someone please teach me how to to expect and how to let go...

Right now, this is how I feel. I am a crazy woman trying to stay sane. Someone please tell me how you can still love, be passionate and loyal and recieve the same back from others without feeling like you you can barely breathe......

...Ticking...

Standing still..that's what every passing moment, every passing hour, and every passing day feels like. I am going through the motions of what I'm supposed to be doing, of what I'm expected to do, with no real meaning and no real passion behind every false step that I take. For everything that I am doing that is supposed to have meaning, there is falseness behind it. I ask myself what's next, I ask you what's next...and there is a moment of silence. Where one thinks, what is next, what happens from here? I'm trying to live in the moment, enjoying each day, enjoying each moment that passes by me, but find it difficult not to wonder. What about October? What about 2010? How do I live in the moment yet plan for a new adventure and a new chapter to my life? I'm stuck here, standing, lost in my thoughts, and lost in my ideas of what's to be. Everything and everyone is passing by me and the only thing I can focus on is the feeling of the beating of my heart, reminding me that yes, I am alive, and yes, this is your life. Wondering. In a few years from now, will I still be standing? My movements a lie to myself, to my soul? Will I be standing in the same place, listening the beating of my heart, still wondering? I do not want to be reminded that this is my life. Stale and empty.