Standing still..that's what every passing moment, every passing hour, and every passing day feels like. I am going through the motions of what I'm supposed to be doing, of what I'm expected to do, with no real meaning and no real passion behind every false step that I take. For everything that I am doing that is supposed to have meaning, there is falseness behind it. I ask myself what's next, I ask you what's next...and there is a moment of silence. Where one thinks, what is next, what happens from here? I'm trying to live in the moment, enjoying each day, enjoying each moment that passes by me, but find it difficult not to wonder. What about October? What about 2010? How do I live in the moment yet plan for a new adventure and a new chapter to my life? I'm stuck here, standing, lost in my thoughts, and lost in my ideas of what's to be. Everything and everyone is passing by me and the only thing I can focus on is the feeling of the beating of my heart, reminding me that yes, I am alive, and yes, this is your life. Wondering. In a few years from now, will I still be standing? My movements a lie to myself, to my soul? Will I be standing in the same place, listening the beating of my heart, still wondering? I do not want to be reminded that this is my life. Stale and empty.
