Dirty 30 May Not Be So Dirty....

Okay so here I am, again, writing about turning 30. Maybe subconsciously I'm trying to tell myself to pull my shit together a little bit because part of me may feel like I sold myself short these past 10 years. I'm not saying that things were bad. I graduated Magna Cum Laude at the age of 21, moved to a different state, lost a parent (this is may not be an "accomplishment" per say, but a feeling, a loss, that we all go through at one point or another. So yes, it's been done). In 10 years I've worked two "grown up" jobs. Managed to enter myself into a sales position and work three different positions within the same company. So what's next you ask?? I have some ideas:

1. Get a Master's Degree
2. Medical Mission Work
3. Backpack through Europe
3. Change Jobs
4. Make Fitness and Health a Main Priority
5. Move States

These all seem pretty quantitative right? The qualitative aspects will hopefully develop from the experiences I have from doing each of these things (minus the numbers to prove my little theory" here:) )

"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."

1. Learn to let go more gracefully
2. Love more wisely
3. Drink with class
4. Take chances with reservation
5. Embrace Pain, Embrace Love
6. Learn to Relax and Just Breathe
7. Sleep!

-Mind you, I stated that these are "ideas" in the moment of now. Maybe in 2 or 3 years these "ideas" will be established and maybe they will be changeable. And maybe in 2 to 3 years, with growth in the mind and soul, new "ideas" will have risen.

"Stay with me, lets just breathe..."

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. More than I like too but not enough to feel at peace. I listened to your voice, I saw a rainbow, and realized that the 19th marks the spot. Sometimes you follow me without me knowing until I realize your the reason I cant breathe......

"Yes I understand that every life must end,
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go,
I'm a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love...

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none,
Stay with me...
Lets just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win,
Under everything, just another human being,
Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this world
to make me bleed.

Stay with me...
You're all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see...
No one knows this more than me,
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
As I look upon your face,
Everything you gave
And nothing you would say (save?)(take),
Nothing you would take...
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool, you see
No one knows this more than me...
like I come clean.

Nothing you would take...
Everything you gave.
Hold me till I die..."
Meet you on the other side.

Brush Your Shoulders Off!

On numerous occasions I've heard people say that when you enter your 30's you be come more secure with who you are as a person and become better at setting boundaries in your life. For the past three months, I've grown more then I have since I've lived in Utah. I got rid of one major negative force, and everything else has fallen into place. I have learned that I have no tolerance for drama and negativity. Some people who have been my friends for the past few years, are no longer my friends. I pick and choose my battles more wisely. I let things roll off my back more easily. I understand and have accepted that it's okay to let go of the things you can't control and that not everything will work out the way you expect. I feel more empowered then I have in years. I feel free, happy, and see things in a brighter light. I appreciate people who are stable, positive, and who can make me laugh and who let "my good" become "my great."